Current Favorite Photo

I accept.

Credit.

You have been thus warned

Dear men who are married, engaged, or have in some way made another person believe that you are committed to them,

If you SHAMELESSLY flirt with me and I find out about your afore mentioned condition after you've been Flirty McTotalDouchebag, I will be a bitch to you. Because that is what you deserve.

Peace. 

I used to be so naive

Once upon a time I was convinced that jeans were comfortable, so I wore them a lot. But then I broke away from the slavery that is designer denim and I admitted that I actually don't like wearing pants that much at all. However, as comfortable as pants-less is, it isn't as widely accepted as jeans (that actually might not be true; pants-less is pretty accepted). Long story short, silk pants make the world go 'round. Suck it JEANS.

P.S. I also used to think that snake bites weren't really a big deal. Turns out that's not true either.

Happy Sabbath ya'll

It's been said lately that my blog can be perceived as rather negative, and I get that. The things I find funny usually take form in hyperbole, sarcasm, and the f word. So in light of expressing that I'm not a bitter old maid sitting at home in my tattered house-sweater bitching about all the government conspiracies (we didn't go to the moon) I wanted to post something. . .nice.  Or at least something not entirely sardonic.

With this photo I was originally going to say something like "wow Jesus, you're so. . .glowy" and thought what, with it being Easter and all, it would be a perfect time to crack a joke about Jesus. But the more I stared at this face (though I'm certain this face is just a face because we are human and need something tangible- you know, the entirety of creation not being enough and all) the more I couldn't shake the feeling of being an idiot. Today, the day we CELEBRATE the greatest gift ever given to humanity, the sacrifice and VICTORY of the King, that we may avoid death and live as royal heirs, and I'm going to say "wow Jesus, you're so glowy"? I've got to be some special kind of slow for that.

But the truth is, slow and all- I've been redeemed. I have been saved by the King and adopted into His family- and not even like red-headed-step-child adopted, but like jewel-in-His-crown adopted. So, in light of the fact that some times I say the stupidest things (or at least want to) but God loves me enough, as the patient father that He is, to pull me aside and whisper into my ear until I'm willing to hear Him remind me that His Son is not a joke- I rejoice.  I rejoice because as a daughter of the King it is my right, privilege, and honor to open my mouth and exclaim His glory. Jesus, greatest of kings, giver of life, and redeemer of all things broken, you are wondrous.

(And now I seriously can't look my candle in the face.)

I've made the decision to fall in love with Tina Fey

You know who does have a funny bone in her body?
Your mom every night for a dollar.  
– Tina Fey

You can read the extended version here

Trust me, I'm a Doctor

A friend and I use to joke about organizations for literacy, because it's really easy to forget an organization's name while being familiar with their cause, and there is a big difference between an organization for literacy and an organization for illiteracy. In as much as there is a difference between an organization for AIDS and an organization for educating people about AIDS. The point- is that today I was thinking about the medical missions group Doctors Without Borders but ended up calling it Doctors Without Boundaries. Which, is not the same thing.

And now I'm curious how many other charity organizations I could make sound like they're inappropriately touching people. . .

Cheese isn't enough

#1 I have certainly taken this from Dooce, it's not theft if I credit her, right? I mean, this is The Internet after all.

#2 It should come as no surprise to anyone that with my uber Caucasian parents, and my growing up primarily in the back woods of the Northwest, I'm pretty white. And not even like red-neck-Southern-drawl-Texas-pride white, but like, peanut-butter-sandwiches-and-no-athletic-skills white. So maybe this explains my ever-growing fascination with other cultures. And maybe by culture I also mean art forms that are so beyond my imagination.

This video gave me chills. I especially love their little laugh at the beginning and their extended embrace at the end.

      "The other day, I was lucky enough to be at an event to bring the arts back into schools and got to see an amazing collaboration between Yo-Yo Ma and a young dancer in LA, Lil Buck. Someone who knows Yo-Yo Ma had seen Lil Buck on YouTube and put them together. The dancing is Lil Buck's own creation and unlike anything I've seen. Hope you enjoy" --Spike Jonze

 

p.s. Did you catch my culture joke about cheese?!!